So Hard to Let Go
by amichan2
Summary: A re-telling of how Sakura tells Yukito about her feelings, from a whole new point of view...


Hihi! I've planned/promised this fic for quite a while, and I finally got off my lazy ass and wrote it. This fic is entirely the outpouring of my experience for the past, er... two weeks (Sherry, typing: O_O). I've finally gotten the last inspiration I need for this fic. This fanfic is just my own version of Sakura's heartbreak (w/ Yuki). Don't read it if you don't want to. It's gonna have lots of POV changes... "------" is change of POV "~~~~~~" is just change of scene 

So Hard to Let Go

By Amy

An S+Y fic based on Amy's very own experience (Sherry, typing: _______ isn't GAY though, is he?), with a large dose of sticky/sweet liquid flowing out of maple trees (Sap). dedicated to my very own heartbreak/crush

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"Tell him, if you want to know so much," Tomoyo-chan advised gently. She's always gentle. She looked at me understandingly, her deep violet eyes soft with sweetness.

It's my birthday, and Tomoyo-chan gave me a surprise party (which included this sleepover).

"... but you'll never find out unless you tell him," Naoko said excitedly, then turned starry-eyed. "It's like a fairy tale!"

"But..." I said meekly, "the prince always tells the princess!"

"Good point..." Naoko thoughtfully tapped her finger against her bed. "Well," she said with enthusiasm, "you can tell him anyways!"

Everyone sweatdropped.

Chiharu cleared her throat. "It's not like we're forcing you or something of the sort..."

It wasn't convincing.

"Maybe he likes you, too!" Kero-chan popped his tiny golden head out of my cookies to comment. (Sherry, typing, horrified: He's coming out... IN PUBLIC???)

I don't know... Perhaps he likes me, then what? I'm so very confused. So I'll tell him. Then what? Then what?

------

"Daidouji residence." I picked up the phone, despite the fact that I was deeply annoyed with the cleaning I was at.

"H-hello?" a sweet anxious voice. Ah... it's Kinomoto-sama.

"Yes, Kinomoto-sama?"

"Sakura, to you," Kinomoto-sama's usual cheerful voice was clouded over with nervousness and worried-ness . "I-I'd like to talk to Tomoyo-chan, please, if she is here."

"Of course." Poor girl. What is ailing her so? "Wait a moment."

------

"Daidouji-san." The servant rapped on my door. "Phone."

"I got it." Who was it? I hope it's Sakura-chan.

"Yes, this is Daidouji Tomoyo speaking."

"Tomoyo-chan?"

"Sakura-chan!" I could hardly hide my glee. "I'm glad you called! I wanted to talk to you about the dress I'm designing for you for the valentine's day dance!"

"Tomoyo-chan..." her voice shook.

"Is something wrong?"

"I-I'd like to tell Yukito-san... you know.. about my feelings..."

"Yes?" I tried not to sound too excited, and failed. But luckily, Sakura-chan didn't notice.

"...a-and I'd like to ask you to tell him for me..."

"Of course. I will, tonight." I'm glad Sakura-chan finally decided.

------

"Y-you're what?!" Xiao Lang gulped. (Sherry, typing, confused: Xiao Lang?) My dear cousin can be sooo cute!

"T-telling Yukito-san..." but ah... Sakura-chan couldn't hide her excitement from me. The fool! Xiao Lang loved her. He must feel so very horrible, just like when I discovered he loved her...

"I think it's great," he managed to say, then smiled dryly. "You have more guts than I do Sakura..."

"You think so?" Sakura glowed with encouragement. "What do you think Meiling-chan?"

"I..." everyone glared, "think... it's great!" Faking enthusiasm isn't that hard, I guess.

"Really?" She glowed.

"Yes," I said, sincerely this time. Xiao Lang would want her to be happy. So would I.

-------

So she's finally going to tell Yuki-san...

It doesn't matter. I don't care. I'm over Yukito. But what about Sakura? Is she important to me?

... Perhaps... I've always kept to myself...

But this strange feeling... is it love?

-------

The kaijou is up to something. I know. She's too... excited. I can feel her aura glow unusually bright.

It's not right...

She's not going to tell Yuki... is she?

But... what about me?

The way I fell about Yukito...

-------

That daughter of mine is acting strange.

"What do you think, Nadeshiko-san?" I knew a picture would never talk back to me, but I felt obligated to ask anyways.

After all, as the mother of our child, she would want to know.

Our child is finally growing up...

-------

A week later...

Sakura absently looked through her e-mail, not quite paying attention to letters from Meiling, Rika, and Chiharu.

_There it is!_

A letter from Tomoyo. Sakura skimmed through the contents of it... tears streamed down...

~~~~~~

"Sakura was rejected you know," Meiling said casually in Chinese.

"Mm-hmm." Syaoran's eyes seemed cold.

Meiling decided to push her luck. "Are you going to tell her?"

"Maybe." The same expressionless look.

"Hmm..."

~~~~~~

Sakura looked through her e-mails. Lots of letters of sympathy. 

"Damn." The profanity wasn't accustomed in her mouth. "Why do all my friends know?!"

There was one from Syaoran.

"I'll always be here for you... Don't cry, because I'm still here for you... until forever..."

-------

Sakura stared at Yuki's picture for a while

_I don't know what to think of Syaoran-kun._

_ ... but I'm sure of this..._

_ If Onii-chan and Yukito-san love each other so much..._

_ I wish them luck and happiness..._

_ ... forever..._

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Ending author's notes:

::Snort:: Course there was no one to tell me "I'll always be there."

::Sigh:: But I had to make it S+S.

I can't bear to split up S+S after seeing the second movie...

I saw it yesterday. *Gasp* SO SWEET!

*Sigh* I hope you like it... Rejection is so horrible...

1 PM 3/5/01 Monday


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